Beyond the Message: Tattoos

Hey students... this idea of The Untouchables series that we finished up last night came from you! I wanted to talk about stuff that you think about and that you talk about, but a lot of times the church doesn’t talk about. If you missed any of the Untouchables talks on homosexuality, porn, racism/prejudice, death and disability you can catch up on previous posts.

Last night we tackled the topic of tattoos and piercings. I had so much to say that I couldn't finish everything last night. I hope that you caught the truths I presented and what God's Word had to say. But what I didn't get to share about was motives. So, if you are tracking in the direction of wanting a tattoo, I would just encourage you to check your motives. 1 Chronicles 28:9 says that “…the Lord sees every heart and understands and knows every plan and thought.” Why do you want one in first place?

1. Do you want a tattoo because everyone else has one? Is it a cool thing? Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” You don’t have to prove to anyone that you’re cool enough or tough enough. You’re a child of the King if you are a Christ-follower and God has already put his stamp of approval on you.

2. Do you want to get a tattoo because you have a heart of rebellion? Rebellion toward your parents: “I can’t wait until I’m 18 then I am going to get tattoo…and no one can stop me! I don’t care what my mom and dad think about it. I don’t care what anyone says…it’s my body!" Maybe it’s rebellion toward some kind of authority in your life. Be careful and examine your motives for getting a tattoo. Rebellion is a outward sign of what is going on inwardly in your heart. Remember your heart is what God cares about most!

3. Do you want get a tattoo because you are a committed Christian and you want to be a witness for Christ? You want people to know that you are Christian and you want to use your tattoo to lead people to Christ. The Bible tells us that your witness is through the fruit of your life and by opening your mouth and sharing the Good News. In John 13:35 it says, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, (if you have a Christian bumper sticker, or a Christian t-shirt or a cross tattoo…no….it says they will know you are my disciples) if you love one another…” I’m not against Christian t-shirts, bumper stickers or even tattoos to express your faith, but you cannot and aren't required to use any of those external marks to define your life and witness as a Christ-follower.

Let me wrap up by telling you about the mark the Jesus has given you. ”He put his mark on us to show that we are his, and he put his Spirit in our hearts to be a guarantee for all he has promised” (2 Corinthians 1:22). By accepting Jesus into your life you automatically receive a special mark on your life… and guess what? It’s painless. And it is the most beautiful marking you have ever seen. The mark on your life when you receive Jesus Christ by faith into your life isn’t temporary. It’s eternal. It lasts forever. God put his Spirit into our lives as a guarantee… that we belong to Him.

You guys heard truth last night. Hopefully you didn't hear my bias or my trying to sway you one way or the other. Just remember - with any decision in life, I would challenge you to look to Scripture, talk to others (wiser people) and pray about it. If I can answer any more questions I’d love to. Just post a reply, IM or email me!

Figuring Me Out

You would think after 30 years you would have a pretty good handle on what makes you tick, how you're wired and know all the good (because how could I possibly have any bad in me?!!) As I've grown older - the wiser could be debated - I've had to take on new roles... father, husband, pastor, etc. Of the many hats I have to wear, I think being a father is the most revealing of my heart.

Over the weekend Brock and I shot some hoops, played a round of "Horse", played checkers and a few other things. And what I can't figure out is why I can't turn off the competitive spirit in me (that I've had since birth I'm sure) even when playing an 8-year old. Is it a guy thing? And, by the way, Brock has it too. You know what kills me? Having to do the "dad thing" and let your kid win every now and then so they don't feel like a total loser. Really I guess you should have joy in seeing your kid be a winner... and I do... just when it isn't against me.

Even checkers - go figure. And Brock beat me fair and square this time. Have I turned into Will Ferrell in "Kicking and Screaming"? Or is God just revealing the sinful nature of depravity that turns even healthy, fun competition into prideful ugliness.

I'm competitive... at least that is my excuse. But I'm really just amazed at how God uses things like losing in checkers to an 8-year old to reveal the ugliness of my heart and to show me how far from His likeness I really am.

Another experience this weekend had me questioning my 'dadness' and revealed more of my heart. I think as a parent you are always walking the fine line of being overbearing, controlling and dominant versus being a pushover and just trying to be your kid's best friend. I would characterize that line (the balancing point) as tough love from a heart of gracious compassion.

Let me just say I have no idea how God is so patient with us and always gets it right. What an amazing Father who never falls on the wrong side of the line like I do. I'll let you guess what side of the line I fell on. There are many moments of pondering, "Did I do the right thing?" in my life as a parent. I had one of many this past weekend.

Have I figured me out? Nope. And sometimes the more I do figure out - the less I like what I see. But amazingly, that awesome and perfect Father is more than just a role model. He's the one who has me figured out, hasn't given up on me and is shaping me into His likeness. Some just take longer than others. Did I mention I need to work on patience, too?!

Beyond the Message: Pornography

Well students, we decided to tackle one of our toughest topics in our "Untouchables" series last night. Pornography is a word that always generates the sound of silence that I heard last night when it first came out of my mouth. And in my heart I'm really saddened by that. I hope you understand that it is my desire that our student ministry would be a place where you could come just as you are (struggles and all) ask any question you want and in return, get an honest and Biblical answer. So thanks for pushing through the discomfort to talk about a subject that affects every single one of us.

I'll be honest... I was pretty blown away by some of the statistics I shared last night:
• Average age of first internet exposure to pornography = 11 years old
• Largest consumer of internet pornography = 12-17 age group
• 15-17 year olds having multiple hardcore exposures = 80%
• 8-16 year olds having viewed porn online = 90%

Like I said last night, that makes this a problem that we have to be honest enough to talk about. But what I want to do in this post is to point you toward help if you are caught up in porn - whether you are just dabbling in it or trapped in it. Like I said, the first step is to find someone to talk to. You cannot make it through this battle alone. My staff and I are committed to helping you no matter where you are in life without passing judgment on you. We encourage you to take that hard step and talk to someone.

How to protect yourself:
1. Get a filter on your computer. You are just asking for trouble to pop up on your computer screen whether you are looking for it or not. A filter is your first line of defense. Check out integrityonline.com, bsafehome.com or cyberpatrol.com.

2. Get an accountability partner. Chances are the person you ask is probably struggling too. Share your struggles, ask honest questions and pray for each other. There is also some great software that you can download that will send your AP the websites you visit each day. Check out xxxchurch.com (X3 software).

3. Get help! I keep saying... but if you have a problem you've got to tell someone! You may find yourself in one of the following three categories:

TARGETED
Every Christian guy is "targeted" by Satan. Just like most of you teenagers are a target for cigarette ads, because every teenager is a potential smoker, so too, every Christian guy is susceptible to sexual sin. Your walk with God, your faith, your ability to be a man of honor and integrity, are all under attack by sexual sin. If you are not "Tempted" or in the "Trenches" (see below) beware that you are not moving in that direction.

TEMPTED
Guys in the "Tempted" group are guys who are already seeing sexual sin or sexual temptation impact their life in some way, have recognized that it could be a significant problem if not dealt with, and/or have recognized a propensity to struggle with lust or sexual compulsivity.

Most guys fit into this group. Most guys are somewhat regularly hit with sexualized messages (TV, magazine stand, movies) and often are exposed to pornography without their consent (SPAM, etc.). If sexual temptation is dealt with, is out in the open (via accountability relationships, etc.) then often it can remain just that, a temptation. But in many cases, just as our bodies, if left alone, will naturally decay--i.e., our bodies, on their own, don't get "fit"--so too, your sexual purity will naturally decline without specific work to stay pure and move towards Christ.

TRENCHES
Guys in the "Trenches" are guys whose lives are in some large part, being controlled by sexual sin. This could be in the form of Internet pornography, a sexual relationships outside of marriage, or other behavior. Maybe at one point, the problem was limited to the occasional viewing of a pornographic email or quickly viewing an inappropriate banner ad--but has now escalated into hours of pornography consumption per day. Being in the "trenches", is by our definition synonymous with addiction. Other common symptoms of sexual addiction include behaviors that have caused or could cause legal, employment, or financial damage (seeing a prostitute, looking at pornography on the job, and using your savings for online pornography are all examples of this).

If you find yourself in the "Trenches" then let me recommend checking out pureonline.com. Just like alcoholism, pornography is an addiction and requires help to get free from the bondage of it.

Please know that I love and care for you. And I challenge you guys in particular to make the commitment or purity like Job did, “I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully on a woman” (Job 31:1). This battle starts in your mind and requires a series commitment on your part. But remember, you can't and don't have to fight this battle alone! God has given you the power of the Holy Spirit to fight your sinful desires. So fight to win!

Beyond the Message: Disability

I appreciate the great discussion and feedback you gave during our Untouchables message on disability last night. I realize that this is a topic that most of us would rather avoid... and if we are being really honest... we would much rather turn our head and avoid people with disabilities as well.

My goal was to help you guys see through some of the misconceptions like people with disabilities are less valuable or that they simply need your sympathy. Remember God's value system isn't conditional like the world's value system. God says to everyone, "You are valuable because I've created you in my image... and I've created you exactly the way I want you to be."

So what can we do? I challenge you to simply take the time to recognize that people with disabilities are all around you. I think a lot of us probably only think about people who have disabilities or special needs when we’re parking – looking for a parking spot – or we see the “short bus.” For the most part, we don't tend to think about people that aren't 'like us,' right? But when we look at the life of Jesus, who did He spend the most amount of time with? People with disabilities. People that were outcasts in life.

If you would say that you are a Christ follower, let me ask you a challenging question: Do you follow Christ with your whole life or do you follow Him when it’s comfortable? Think about that. Jesus says in the Bible, “Don’t think I’ve come to make life cozy.” He didn’t come to bring us comfort. He came to bring us full life. It says in John 10:10 that Jesus came that we might have life and have it to the full. Jesus came so we could have full life, real life. He’s not as concerned with our comfort.

So where do we go with this? I'm sure it will be different for all of us. But I hope some of your misconceptions were challenged and you were able to replace them with truth. So now, truth must turn into action! Get involved. Give your time. Open your mouth and speak. Learn to see people through the eyes of Christ.