Germany Bound

Germany is calling again. This will be my third mission over to Germany. I've grown to love the people and culture. I have great respect for the missionaries and national pastors giving their lives to the Gospel in such a spiritually dark place. Many will labor years to see a single convert. But there is always hope when the Gospel goes out. But the Gospel must go out. Romans 10:14, "But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them?"

We will use music as a means to evangelism. We'll be partnering with local churches and missionaries to do concerts to open the door for relationships to be formed. The Germans love music and we'll have the opportunity to present the Gospel through song. But I'll also have the opportunity to share the Gospel each night. Our travels will take us throughout Germany to the following cities: Munich, Hohenfels, Cham, Nurnberg, Seigen-Geisweld, Cologne, Bruhl, Seigburg, Rudesheim, Mainz, Frankfurt.

I would greatly appreciate your prayer support for our team as we travel, sing, build relationships and look for opportunities to share the Gospel in word, song and in deed. I'll do my best to get some updates posted as I have the chance here (toddveleber.blogspot.com) and on Facebook.

a superb exchange

Every day so far has presented a challenge and a choice. How will I spend my day? What will I invest in today? Not that those questions don't matter every day, in fact, so much of this journey so far has really revealed how closely my identity has been tied to my ministry. Waking up and wondering, "What will I do today?" has been a bit unsettling.

In some ways, connecting with the Lord without my daily routine has been difficult. I always knew I was a creature of habit, but probably not to this degree. In the absence of a "schedule" the battle ensues... the battle of choice. The challenge to stay connected or to abide (as John's Gospel would say) is always a difficult one. But doesn't that seem counter-intuitive? Abiding/resting is challenging... it does take work. But to start, it takes a choice.

One of the more difficult pieces to this process of abiding/connecting with the Lord is surrendering my desires and confessing my failed attempts. It plagues me that I often choice leisure over the Lord and fail the challenge of connection by succumbing to the giant of distraction. But when I make time for Him, He is so faithful to supply more than my every need. He truly does fill the cup to overflowing. Unhurried time with Him is more than a gift... it is life.

And then the gift of unhurried time with my family has truly been amazing. Even though today consisted of mopping, vacuuming and picking up toys, I'm treasuring my time at home. Most of my time with Brooke has been doing whatever I can around the house so that she can recover and heal. The time with my boys has been filled with football, food, laughter, tears, stories and outside fun. We've even had the opportunity to spend time with extended family.

This sabbatical is proving that every day there's a challenge and I have a choice... which is really true of every day - sabbatical or not. I want to choose to reject the lesser, so Christ can fill me with the greater - Himself. Now that is a superb exchange.

to sabbatical

Sabbatical (from Latin sabbaticus, from Greek sabbatikos, from Hebrew shabbat, i.e., Sabbath, literally a "ceasing") is a rest from work, or a hiatus, often lasting from two months to a year. The concept of sabbatical has a source in Scripture (Leviticus 25, for example, where there is a commandment to desist from working the fields in the seventh year).

I find myself struggling to get into the rhythm of my sabbatical, which points to a deeper problem that has given me much to reflect on over these last few days. See the concept of taking a sabbatical, actually comes from a practice of sabbath, which we are all commanded to as Christians. From creation itself, we see the practice of Almighty God (Genesis 2:2-3, in which God rested - literally, "ceased" from his labor after creating the universe) the importance of 'spiritual rest' - one day where we cease from worldly labors for the purpose of surrender and focus on God. And then of course in the New Testament, Jesus further explains the purpose, "Then he said to them, "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath." (Mark 2:27).

Jesus knew our greatest need and then fulfilled it. It wasn't that we simply needed one day of the week, but rather that we daily need Him for our very life. Not that we simply honor Sunday (and really on Sunday morning since we have NFL to occupy our minds in the afternoon), but that as Colossians 3 exhorts, "Set your minds on things above, not on things on the earth..." All the time. Every minute of every day.

The deeper issue is always idolatry, pride, self-sufficiency... at the core: myself. I need to constantly be reminded that I'm my own worst enemy. "I can do this myself, with my gifts and my abilities - so why would I need to 'rest and refocus?'" It's a battle of Lordship.

And so the calling of Christ is "abide in me" (John 15). Find not just your center in me, not just a day in me, but find your very life in me. Exist in me. Everything must be re-examined, re-evaluated, re-focused and ultimately restored in Christ.

John Piper, one of my favorite pastors and authors, recently announced an 8-month sabbatical from his pastoral role at Bethlehem Baptist. In his words he needed a sabbatical, "because of a growing sense that [his] soul, [his] marriage, [his] family, and [his] ministry-pattern need a reality check from the Holy Spirit."

That is a powerful admission. I find it most difficult, not to be that honest with others, but with my own heart. I need a "reality check from the Holy Spirit." And truth be told, I need it every day.

I'm sitting here in the hospital writing this (Brooke's procedure went great... thanks for praying) which brings a greater focus to what really matters in life. And, no, it isn't our health, not physically anyway. James tells us that this life is but a mist, a vapor - here today and gone tomorrow. I need reminding of this. That is the refocus all of our hearts need.

My life is hidden in Christ... I know that intellectually, but do I live that daily? Do my values, priorities, thoughts, behaviors and words reflect that reality? I pray that God will bring that into focus during this sabbatical... as I learn how to sabbath. Something my soul needs daily in practice for what I will have the privilege to do for an eternity.

People.

"I came to a new understanding why Jesus passed up the religious establishment of his day, the economically secure, the socially prestigious, and sought out the poor, the outcast, the sinner, the broken, the sick, the lonely. He felt, as we so often do not feel, their sorrow. He was acquainted, as we too seldom are, with their grief. On Calvary he died of a broken heart. But that heart was broken long before Black Friday, by the desolation of the common people. “In all their afflictions, he was afflicted.”

Most of the time we are not. We seem to have quite a different conception of life. We avoid as much as possible the unpleasant. We shun the suffering of others. We shrink from any burdens except those which life itself inescapably thrusts upon us. We seek arduously the wealth and power that will enable us to secure ourselves against the possibility of being involved with another’s affliction. Lazarus sometimes makes his way to our door step. We toss him a coin and go on our way. We give our charities but we do not give ourselves. We build our charitable institutions but we do not build ourselves into other’s lives." (From The Captivating Presence by Albert Edward Day)

My prayer is every increasingly growing that I would see people through the eyes of Christ. I used to hear my pastor say, "Every person is a candidate for Christ." I don't want to see people as scenery on my highway of life. People matter to God, so people should matter to me.

I've come to realize that everywhere I look people are hurting. People have physical, emotional and primarily spiritual needs. I'm continually reminded where Jesus spoke about looking out at the crowd of people as "sheep that were harassed and helpless... sheep without a shepherd."

What a great responsibility and privilege I have as a Christian who the Shepherd rescued, to point other sheep to that same Great Shepherd. To walk with people through the difficulties of life to the place of entering in to those difficulties... in order to share the hope that I have found in the Gospel.

I've got a long way to go... but praying that day by day the scales fall off and the captivating beauty of Christ and the power of the Gospel would first impact my heart so that I can love God and love others.

A Cry for Mercy

There isn't much I have to say. Actually, I feel that is the way it should be most of the time. During my time alone with God this morning, I read this prayer by Henri Nouwen from his A Cry for Mercy. I'll let his thoughts and heart desire speak for me today...

O Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, have mercy on me, a sinner. I am impressed by my own spiritual insights. I probably know more about prayer, meditation and contemplation than most Christians do. I have read many books about the Christian life and have even written a few myself. Still, as impressed as I am, I am more impressed by the enormous abyss between my insights and my life.

It seems as if I am standing on one side of a huge canyon and see how I should grow toward you, live in your presence and serve you, but cannot reach the other side of the canyon where you are. I can speak and write, preach and argue about the beauty and goodness of the life I see on the other side, but how, O Lord, can I get there? Sometimes I even have the painful feeling that the clearer the vision, the more aware I am of the depth of the canyon.

Am I doomed to die on the wrong side of the abyss? Am I destined to excite others to reach the promised land while remaining unable to enter there myself? Sometimes I feel imprisoned by my own insights and "spiritual competence." You alone, Lord, can reach out to me and save me. You alone.

I can only keep trying to be faithful, even though I fell faithless most of the time,. What else can I do but keep praying to you, even when I feel dark; to keep writing about you, even when I feel numb; to keep speaking in your name, even when I fell alone. Come Lord Jesus, come. Have mercy on me a sinner. Amen.

Mission Nicaragua :: Day 12

Today was our final day in Nicaragua. We started it by joining the nations in worship at Verbo Church. This is the church the Buzbees attend in Managua. So after picking up the neighborhood kids on the bus, we headed in to Managua. I love going to Verbo Church. Their worship is exciting and contagious and on the slower songs, we can actually read the words fast enough to sing along. I'm always amazed at how freely and exuberantly they worship. It's also so cool to think about the fact that while we were worshipping in Spanish in another country, our church family was back in Tallahassee worshipping. And that's just a small glimpse into the reality that Christians worldwide - from every tribe, tongue and nation were lifting up songs of praise to our Awesome God!

We had to cut out of church just a bit early to make it to the airport in time for our departure. After grabbing a bite to eat we all made it through security in time to board to find out that weather in Miami put us under an hour delay. We then made it to Miami only to sit on the runway for another hour before a gate opened up. So our planned 4 hour layover quickly disappeared. We had just enough time to clear customs and immigration, run back upstairs to make it through security, grab a bite of food to-go and then make it to our gate. Our flight to Jax was also under delay but we finally landed around midnight.

I'll take some time with a later post to really debrief and recap the mission. But a huge thank you to all who supported the team financially and through prayer. We definitely felt carried on the prayers of our supporters and through the power of the Holy Spirit. God did such a good work in us and through us. Soli Deo Gloria!

Mission Nicaragua :: Day 11

There will be no way to put into words how God moved mightily in our team today. We got off to an early start to head over to Sister Ruby's house for prayer. It has been a year and a half since Ruby died, but her ministry and upper room prayer time still live on. Mike and Coburn joined our team for prayer at Ruby's. This is always such an amazing time for our team as we come expecting the Lord to show up and speak to our hearts. We had a powerful time of worship and prayer and God was faithful to move in our midst. We all walked away from that time rejoicing and praising God for His love for us and for uniting our hearts in greater unity. I will be excited to see how God continues to reveal Himself and glorify Himself through our team. We are claiming His promise that He who began a good work in us will be faithful to bring it to completion.

After our team prayer time, we made our annual trip to the market for some shopping Nica style! All our teams have enjoyed this excursion and we figure it is our way of supporting the local economy.

We were then able to return to the Buzbees to sort and bag all the clothes that we brought this year. Even though we weren't able to bring nearly as much as in years past, we still ended up with a great amount of clothing to give. Most of the clothes we brought will go to the El Caimito community which is right adjacent to the Las Parcelas community where we were working this year. Brinson has developed a relationship with a woman who owns a small "convenient store" and now we will be blessing her with clothes to sell. This will not only support her family, but also be a great resource for both communities.

Team dinner was the end to a great day. We went out to La Plancha which is a great restaurant in Managua. We all enjoyed a plate of sizzling steak, chicken or fish... well, except for Katherine, but she found a veggie dish she liked. It was not only delicious, but a great time to simply celebrate with each other what God has done in us and through us this mission.

Tomorrow we will be up early and packed so we can go to Verbo Church. We'll be joining the nations in worship of Almighty God! We'll then head straight to the airport to head back to the States. It's hard to believe our time here in Nicaragua is almost over. The mission isn't over though, as the mission never ends!