A Cry for Mercy

There isn't much I have to say. Actually, I feel that is the way it should be most of the time. During my time alone with God this morning, I read this prayer by Henri Nouwen from his A Cry for Mercy. I'll let his thoughts and heart desire speak for me today...

O Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, have mercy on me, a sinner. I am impressed by my own spiritual insights. I probably know more about prayer, meditation and contemplation than most Christians do. I have read many books about the Christian life and have even written a few myself. Still, as impressed as I am, I am more impressed by the enormous abyss between my insights and my life.

It seems as if I am standing on one side of a huge canyon and see how I should grow toward you, live in your presence and serve you, but cannot reach the other side of the canyon where you are. I can speak and write, preach and argue about the beauty and goodness of the life I see on the other side, but how, O Lord, can I get there? Sometimes I even have the painful feeling that the clearer the vision, the more aware I am of the depth of the canyon.

Am I doomed to die on the wrong side of the abyss? Am I destined to excite others to reach the promised land while remaining unable to enter there myself? Sometimes I feel imprisoned by my own insights and "spiritual competence." You alone, Lord, can reach out to me and save me. You alone.

I can only keep trying to be faithful, even though I fell faithless most of the time,. What else can I do but keep praying to you, even when I feel dark; to keep writing about you, even when I feel numb; to keep speaking in your name, even when I fell alone. Come Lord Jesus, come. Have mercy on me a sinner. Amen.

Mission Nicaragua :: Day 12

Today was our final day in Nicaragua. We started it by joining the nations in worship at Verbo Church. This is the church the Buzbees attend in Managua. So after picking up the neighborhood kids on the bus, we headed in to Managua. I love going to Verbo Church. Their worship is exciting and contagious and on the slower songs, we can actually read the words fast enough to sing along. I'm always amazed at how freely and exuberantly they worship. It's also so cool to think about the fact that while we were worshipping in Spanish in another country, our church family was back in Tallahassee worshipping. And that's just a small glimpse into the reality that Christians worldwide - from every tribe, tongue and nation were lifting up songs of praise to our Awesome God!

We had to cut out of church just a bit early to make it to the airport in time for our departure. After grabbing a bite to eat we all made it through security in time to board to find out that weather in Miami put us under an hour delay. We then made it to Miami only to sit on the runway for another hour before a gate opened up. So our planned 4 hour layover quickly disappeared. We had just enough time to clear customs and immigration, run back upstairs to make it through security, grab a bite of food to-go and then make it to our gate. Our flight to Jax was also under delay but we finally landed around midnight.

I'll take some time with a later post to really debrief and recap the mission. But a huge thank you to all who supported the team financially and through prayer. We definitely felt carried on the prayers of our supporters and through the power of the Holy Spirit. God did such a good work in us and through us. Soli Deo Gloria!

Mission Nicaragua :: Day 11

There will be no way to put into words how God moved mightily in our team today. We got off to an early start to head over to Sister Ruby's house for prayer. It has been a year and a half since Ruby died, but her ministry and upper room prayer time still live on. Mike and Coburn joined our team for prayer at Ruby's. This is always such an amazing time for our team as we come expecting the Lord to show up and speak to our hearts. We had a powerful time of worship and prayer and God was faithful to move in our midst. We all walked away from that time rejoicing and praising God for His love for us and for uniting our hearts in greater unity. I will be excited to see how God continues to reveal Himself and glorify Himself through our team. We are claiming His promise that He who began a good work in us will be faithful to bring it to completion.

After our team prayer time, we made our annual trip to the market for some shopping Nica style! All our teams have enjoyed this excursion and we figure it is our way of supporting the local economy.

We were then able to return to the Buzbees to sort and bag all the clothes that we brought this year. Even though we weren't able to bring nearly as much as in years past, we still ended up with a great amount of clothing to give. Most of the clothes we brought will go to the El Caimito community which is right adjacent to the Las Parcelas community where we were working this year. Brinson has developed a relationship with a woman who owns a small "convenient store" and now we will be blessing her with clothes to sell. This will not only support her family, but also be a great resource for both communities.

Team dinner was the end to a great day. We went out to La Plancha which is a great restaurant in Managua. We all enjoyed a plate of sizzling steak, chicken or fish... well, except for Katherine, but she found a veggie dish she liked. It was not only delicious, but a great time to simply celebrate with each other what God has done in us and through us this mission.

Tomorrow we will be up early and packed so we can go to Verbo Church. We'll be joining the nations in worship of Almighty God! We'll then head straight to the airport to head back to the States. It's hard to believe our time here in Nicaragua is almost over. The mission isn't over though, as the mission never ends!

Mission Nicaragua :: Day 10

Every time I visit the dump, I can't help but think of what C.S. Lewis said, "We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." This is such a vivid picture of our lives and we see it, smell it and even taste it when we visit La Chureca (the city dump). An estimated 1000+ people live in the dump, making their homes out of whatever they can find and making their living out of what ever they can rummage and then sell. It is a horrible existence full of poverty, dysfunctional families, drug & alcohol problems, physical and sexual abuse and so much more.

The Buzbees have even rescued families and children from the dump and over and over again they return. Mike will often say, "You can take people out of the dump, but you can't take the dump out of people." How true this is of our lives as well. We look and see all that God has to offer and our complete joy would be found in our satisfaction in Him, yet we find ourselves in the dump making mud pies, every time we turn back to sin and self.

La Chureca always has a big impact on our team and this year was no exception. We were able to stop in at Collegio Christiano de Esperaza (the Hope School) that the Buzbees run right inside the dump. These kids are so precious, but every scar tells a story and every deep look into their eyes shows their inner hurt and pain. But praise God they are hearing the Gospel and receiving an education. We had fun joining them for recess and spreading some Gospel love their way.

After our time in La Chureca, we headed back to Las Parcelas for our time of dedication. But first we had to walk the playground equipment (it did get delivered, just to the wrong place) from Ruby Ranch to the school. We set it in and then had a time of dedication and prayer and shared our love and gifts with them and they did in return. The leader of the community was there and spoke on behalf of the children, the school and everyone in the community. They were so grateful and said they will be anxiously waiting for our return with open arms.

After the dedication, we took a road trip to the beach! Stepping foot into the Pacific and then swimming in it was a first for many on our team. It was a beautiful afternoon and sunset there.

We returned pretty exhausted, but full spiritually. We are all learning better how to walk in the Spirit, hear Him and join Him where He is working. It is excited to see all that God is doing in us individually and also corporately as a team. But our night wasn't complete without a little birthday celebration! It is Elise's birthday and so we had the whole team sneak down to the Rancho with the lights out and then had someone bring her down and "SURPRISE" - a party Nica style complete with birthday cake!

God is so good. We are so humbled and grateful for His presence and power. Please join us in prayer that God would move mightily for our last few days here! We will see you all soon!

Mission Nicaragua :: Day 9

Today was a long day! We are a bit on the exhausted side after a long day out in Las Parcelas. This was Extreme Makeover School Edition day. We hit the ground running with paint, paint and more paint. We were able to re-coat the whole school and all the retaining walls around the playground. We installed the teacher's desk and chair and also the two whiteboards we purchased. The kids were so excited that they blindfolded the headmistress/teacher and did the big reveal for us.

These people in this community are so humble and grateful. It has been amazing to get to know them and play with their kids. The relationships we are forming will certainly last a lifetime. As Brinson told me today, this camp and then our work in their community has swung open the doors of ministry for the Buzbees in the Las Parcelas community.

Our team is doing great work and God has gifted us with a spirit of unity. It was so great for me as their leader to look out at different moments today and see the body of Christ at work. Without any direction - some painting, others fixing a swing, others playing with kids, others helping clean-up or get water for other team members.

God is so good. This mission continues to go beyond our expectations and we aren't done yet. The only disappointment of the day was that the playground equipment we ordered wasn't delivered. But we are trusting God that He is setting us up with another ministry opportunity to return when it does arrive and to install it. Thanks for your continued prayer support!

Mission Nicaragua :: guest blogger - Katie P

Sunday was really fun and crazy but also a very powerful day. One of my favorite moments was after swimming I hung out with some nica chicos. We were having so much fun giggling, practicing English, and taking endless pictures and videos with my camera. It was such an awesome connection. I could be in the moment forever.

Sunday was also powerful because we presented the Gospel and how the kiddos could become part of God’s family. After we finished for the night we asked if anyone wanted to stay and talk. A group of girls were in the corner crying. No female translators were available, so knowing the little Spanish that I do I went to try and talk with them. God showed up in huge ways . A couple other girls on our team came over and prayed over the girls in English. Then each of the girls prayed for themselves in Spanish. I ended by praying for them in Spanish, saying, “God, thank you for accepting these girls into your family and for dying for them. Thank you for the gifts that you’ve given us through salvation, like peace and eternal joy. Bless these girls. Amen.” It was incredible seeing the girls so overcome by God’s power. They also said they were crying because we meant so much to them and they were sad to see us leave. We told them that we’d see each other again because God’s family will always be together in Heaven. Hermanas en Cristo para siempre!

Another day that meant a lot to me was Tuesday. Early that morning I sent the team off for a day of construction while I waited for Lila, a Nicaraguan artist that Masterpieces for Miskitos is collaborating with. She arrived at the compound about midmorning. She showed me some of her art and I showed her around the compound. We went up to the third floor, prayed, and discussed some ideas for the paintings. God really inspired us with his beautiful Nicaraguan landscapes and nature. We’ve decided to use that as the inspiration. God was prevalent throughout the day. He really showed me that He has big plans for this ministry and that He has brought Lila to us. I am so excited to see how God is going to use her and also touch lives in the process.

Being in this place, surrounded by so many people who are loving and serving God, with no distractions, and seeing God work so clearly; it’s an amazing place to be. Hey mom and dad, I wouldn’t come home if you’d let me (haha just kidding. Kind of) Love you! All is good here. Obviously.

Mission Nicaragua :: Day 8

God is proving Himself faithful and working beyond our expectations and today was no exception. Our day started off with the routine of breakfast and team devotions and then time in His Word. God woke me up early again today and it wasn't too much later that I figured out why. I had an opportunity to connect with a friend down here who "randomly" showed up in the cabana where I was. It was such a God moment as I had the opportunity to listen and pray for this friend. We are all learning to hear the Spirit and follow His leading better each and every day.

While the team headed off to work at Las Parcelas, Brinson and I headed into Managua to grab some supplies for our surprise "Extreme School Makeover". Through our support raising as a team, we were able to purchase 2 whiteboards, 1 teacher desk and chair, paint for the playground, 2 new pieces of playground equipment and a few other supplies. God met us at each location by providing great deals on everything we purchased.

Taking these kids to Campo has really opened up some amazing doors of ministry. While we were shopping, the team was serving at the school by cleaning up the trash and landscaping Nica style. Parents of some of the campers brought corn and cheese as gifts to our team. Then they also surprised us by cooking a hot lunch for the team. This is a poor, rural farming community with generous and grateful hearts. We are praying about a strategic and long-term relationship with them and are excited about what the future could hold. You could definitely join us in praying for God's will in this!

After lunch, we played with the kids while painting their existing playground equipment. Nearly all of the kids we took to camp stuck around after school and the older kids that go to secondary school even came to hang with us. It was so much fun catching up with them and playing with them. We are all amazed at how quickly and deeply these relationships are forming.

Tomorrow we will present all that we have purchased and begin the installation process. We are also hoping to purchase more paint to update the exterior of the school building. Our time is running short and we are trying to accomplish all that God would have us to, so please continue to pray!